Feeling​.​.​. Questionable

from by great neck

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I was finally called upon for a romantic endeavor, which was nothing short of amazing. It was a particularly cool evening, and we discussed happiness and relationships, and the sort of aspects of domestication that we found appealing. There was hopefulness and an endearing sense to our time together, however, the specter of studies hung over us and she vanished over a hill. I remained behind, enjoying the crisp air and the colors of dusk.
I returned to my room to find my door ajar, and I grew anxious. My heartbeat accelerated. Once I passed into the room, I discovered my neurotic neighbor at my computer, with Facebook open. My adrenaline pushed on, while I came to my senses.
“What is going on here?!” I exclaimed.
They didn’t look up. “Network asks me to invite them—-fucking asks me to share.”
“Hey!” I yelled. “What are you doing in here?”
They whipped around with a now-familiar craze. “She loves you, but you hate her—-and I can’t cater to you both!”
“I’m hoping, that this one time, you can show some self control!” I called back.
They grew despondent and began to openly weep. “Now we’re fighting, because I’m hiding a love that belongs to you.”
“You’re not hiding anything from me—-I don’t even know you! And I’d appreciate it if you stayed out of my room!”
They fell out of the chair, collapsing onto the floor, wailing and crying. “I try to find a higher purpose—-I try to reason against fate, but still—-I miss you.”
“Try to be another person—-try to be a different place!” I said, in a panic. It appeared to be some sort of advice, and when I realized this, I went to their aid. I lifted them up and placed them onto my bed, allowing for them to sit. I poured two glasses of whiskey and sought to further console this manic person.
“I wonder, will I recover?” they asked.
“From what?”
“From a hole in my heart from you.” They looked over to the open computer. “And I’m wiser—-that much brighter, from a way of life I learned from you.”
“Hey!” I called out to them, returning them back to reality, back to the here-and-now. “It’s time to let go, to join the rest of us. You’ve got to come to your senses.”


from Esoterexorcism, released May 23, 2015
Personnel: Derek Perry, Lonnie Dillinger, Casey Lee, Jeb Barrows, & Sean Stevenson.
Mastered by Doug Van Sloun



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great neck Naples, Florida

dysfunctional anti-recovery backwards walking inward talking shells of people who once thought of themselves as great.

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